The Chit Chat Cafe

Sarah Palin

Am I the only one out there that is annoyed by Sarah Palin???  Her voice...her actions......she is attractive, but in a "cheap" sort of way...... She strikes me as someone that got a lucky break when McCain picked her to be the VP canidate.........now you KNOW she is going to try to run for President.....I would love to see a woman President of the United States........but not her!!!!!  She is just.....well.......annoying....those stupid names of her kids.....who the frig names their kid twig or trig or whatever the hell it is..........

She hit the lottery by having John McCain bring her into the spotlight...books deals....talk of her own show.....mega bucks for speaking gigs.....to me....she is the equivelant of one of the fools on a reality show......like that ass Spencer Pratt. .....making it really big by default.............AND...the thing with David Letterman.......if you can't take jokes...you should not be in the limelight.

13 Things Your Pizza Delivery Guy Won't Tell You

Another Readers Digest Gem...enjoy....

1. My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Remember: It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.

2. We know when kids are prank-calling us. They can't mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don't.

3. If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I'll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right.

4. Patience, please. It takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house.

From Clipart.com

Pizza tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order, according to the local delivery guys we interviewed.

5. In some neighborhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, "Rob me! I have cash!" That's why we won't deliver to some neighborhoods.

6. When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it's not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.

7. When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It's basic etiquette.

8. I'd prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

9. Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order. If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars' worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I'm going to have a problem with that.

10. The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet. The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what we go through.

11. I remember every customer who doesn't tip. I won't do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking the soda on the next delivery would not be out of the question.

12. I'll knock on your door three times and call you on the phone twice. If you don't answer, don't call later to complain that you didn't get your food. I can't wait forever.

13. A guy once ordered pizza from me just so he'd have some help moving his sofa up a flight of stairs. I agreed to help him. He gave me a few extra bucks. I took it.

Sources: Anonymous pizza delivery people in New York, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania.

From Reader's Digest - April 2009

 

13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You.....

A waiter spills all in Readers Digest:   Oh boy.....

1. Avoid eating out on holidays and Saturday nights. The sheer volume of customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their ability to produce a high-quality dish.

2. There are almost never any sick days in the restaurant business. A busboy with a kid to support isn't going to stay home and miss out on $100 because he's got strep throat. And these are the people handling your food.

3. When customers' dissatisfaction devolves into personal attacks, adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact covert vengeance. Some waiters can and do spit in people's food.

4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.

5. Treat others as you want to be treated. (Yes, people need to be reminded of this.)

6. Don't snap your fingers to get our attention. Remember, we have shears that cut through bone in the kitchen.

7. Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis. If he makes the same entrée 10,000 times a month, the odds are good that the dish will be a home run every time.

8. Splitting entrées is okay, but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade. What's next, grapes so you can press your own wine?

9. If you find a waiter you like, always ask to be seated in his or her section. Tell all your friends so they'll start asking for that server as well. You've just made that waiter look indispensable to the owner. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.

10. If you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat in the restaurant. Servers could be giving 20 to 40 percent to the busboys, bartenders, maître d', or hostess.

11. Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters "facilitate" this error. It's dishonest, it's wrong-and I did it all the time.

12. If you want to hang out, that's fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have made if he or she had had another seating at that table.

13. Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. The cooks are tired and will cook your dinner right away. So while you're chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength, carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.
 

The Joys of Summer..........

AAAhhh.....the joys of summer.........the pleasures of it..........summer is a time for all things happy and carefree.........the beach .......there is lounging by the pool........ .................oh and those warm breezy evenings of baseball games....there are gatherings with friends... BBQ's..... nothing like sticky ribs right off the grill...........summer reading.....suntans.....flipflops.....the smell of cotton candy....salt water........summer romances.......vacations...........it is all good..........oh but wait.........for one young man, namely my son Adam.........THERE IS GOING TO BE THE DREADED SUMMER SCHOOL.....my son who is extremely intelligent....handsome....great personality.....polite, articulate and looks like he should be in a national ad for Abercrombie and Fitch....he will be going to summer school for the entire month of July..........why you ask??..........BECAUSE HE FAILED FREAKING HEALTH......YES HEALTH...THE SIX WEEK COURSE THAT EVEN AN IDIOT COULD PASS..........a ONE CREDIT CLASS................He has to take it to graduate next year and failed because he was to busy texting, facebooking and such and didn't hand it a couple of assignments that counted heavily toward his grade......he attended summer school two years ago for the same issues and it was not pretty.....now here is where the story gets good..........

Yours truly had to go sign him up today, while he is on a whirlwind tour of Vienna, Austria with his high school symphony..........

Now mind you ....like he is...there are nice, normal kids that go to summer school but the majority are way to tatooed (I witnessed this first hand when I had to drive and pick him up 2 years ago)...........most are sitting around smoking ................and several were pregnant young ladies..............kids with one to many piercings... and let's throw in some wild hair do's for good measure

So these things my friends..........are what my son has to look forward to in the coming warm weather weeks......

Now to ad insult to injury........they school would not take.......cash.........check.....debit or credit cards......I had to run around like a nut trying to find a place that would give me a money order!!!!  I ended up getting one at a dirty, sleezy mini mart type store........talk about white trash...................aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 5 Germiest Tourist Attractions....

www.tripadvisor.com  Had an interesting tidbit on their site this week......the top 5 "germiest" tourist attractions in the world......take a look and see if you "touched" any of them........

The Blarney Stone in Ireland...... 400,000 people kiss this landmark every year...by doing so it is supposed to give you "the gift of gab"..........well folks.........I already was born with the "gift of gab"...probably a little to much actually.......so I am not thinking I am kissing some germ infested stone.....God only knows whose been kissing  it and WHERE THEIR LIPS HAVE BEEN!!!!!!  No thanks.....I am not going to the beautiful, magical Emerald Isle to get trench mouth.

Oscar Wilde's Grave Site @ Pere-Lachaise Cemetery in Paris .....here you find Jim Morrison's grave with an around the clock guard.......... on Mr. Wilde's tomb....many many red lipstick prints...why is it women are so inclined to kiss a tombstone?????   Think Lip fungus....yuck!!

The Gum Wall in Seattle.....this is way cool in a skeevy sort of way.....at the Pike Place Market....started in 1998........there is a huge wall in Seattle that people leave their chewed, used gum stuck to.........I guess that is self explanatory as to why this is full of germs....

St. Mark's Square in Venice. .....Pigeons, Pigeons, Pigeons.......poop, poop, poop...enough said.

Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood..... ....millions touch the handprints of the rich and famous......can you imagine where some of those hands that touch those famous cement attractions have been???  Let's think.......scratching their asses.....going to the bathroom with out washing...sneezing in their hands.....picking their noses.......should I go on??????

Important Words for Women to Live By....

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
 
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
 
11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman
      tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there'
'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'.

A Facial = Relaxing????????????????????????

 Most women of the universe would give their eye teeth to have the privledge of having a relaxing, luxurious and calming facial..........right????????????  WRONG.

Last week I was fortune enough to have a gift card to an upscale spa for a facial...........I had never had one before.........so I thought.....why not....it will be fun....all my girlfriends. mom, sister and boss all told me what an incredibly indulgent experience it is to have a facial......they said it was one of life's great pleasures......so I trot off happily to the spa....

Upon entering the front door...........you are immediately transformed into this oasis of quiet tranquilty......everything is very quiet..........soft music........beautiful receptionist..........I give them my name.........they guide me to the dressing area and hand me a robe. .......here is where the stress begins....

Now I am sitting alone in this fancy dressing area with the dilemma........do I keep my underwear on?  Do I keep my jeans on???  Do I take my bra off?  I didn't know what the hell to do so I left my underwear on under the robe........... My esthetician came out to get me...she was adorable......she leads me into the facial room......the lights are dim.....soft waterfall sounds.....beautiful aromas.... ....the young lady tells me to get ready...she will be back in a minute..........OK...........what the hell do I do now?  Do I take off the robe??  I assumed that is what I had to do.......but I started to feel really weird.....I took off robe and slid under the covers on the facial table, I was in my panties and bra.....it felt really strange...........I wasn't feeling anywhere calm and tranquil.....

The esthetician comes back into the room and I feel like I have to make conversation with her...so I started asking questions about her job, etc.....she started to cleanse my face with something greasy.....then put a steamer on my face with pads on my eyes..........the pads were burning my eyes and I couldn't breath with all that steam in my face.... ......THIS WASN'T RELAXING.......while I was subjected to this torture....she put this extremely bright light over my face to extract any blackheads she might find on my skin (yuck)......the light was so bright it was disturbing even with my eyes closed and the pads on top..........and the steam is steaming away and I can't catch my breath.....now she applies and mask on my face and procedes to massage my hands........to which when she was finished.........put mittens on them .............so now I am laying there with steam  on my face.........pads on my eyes, mittens on my hands..........AM I RELAXING YET??????????  NO!!!!!  Next she moves to my feet.....she is massaging my feet.........thank God I had a pedicure just the day before so my toes were all freshly polished and heels decalloused.....I felt like I was in a freaking straight jacket being all tied down like this... In the mean time...that waterfall sound effect was cranking......I must have had some PMS going on because I just could not relax.....she is rubbing my feet...and I am feeling like a spoiled brat....who am I to get my feet rubbed....it was weird....I was wondering how many more minutes I was  going to be subjected to this endless torture.....all I wanted to do was get up but I was tied down with my mask, steam, eye pads, mittens......now pedicure booties!!!! I am telling you my friends...I might has well been laying on a bed of nails for the discomfort I was experiencing.... Now for the grand finale....a hot oil head massage..........talk about greasy.........after 10 minutes of that I was ready to scream......when I was finally de masked.........de mitted..........de bootied.......de eye paded............I got up...put back on the robe and looked in the mirror to see what my skin looked like........I almost screamed when I saw myself...after that hot oil head massage........I looked like fucking Medusa

I had to wash my hair 3 times to get the gunk out.....will I get a facial again?...........I might try one more time because the end result was terrific looking skin...what do you think?

10 Things never to say to a Nerdy Guy....

http://www.lemondrop.com/bloggers/matt-christensen/

Check this post out from a Matt Christensen...sooooo funny and cute...

 

I don't know about you girls....but some "nerdy" guys are sexy.......in a quirky kind of way....

10 Ways to Feel Happier This Instant

Here is the montly Glamour Magazine list for July....so much fun!!

10 Ways to Feel Happier This Instant

1.  Have a cookie before noon or a drink before 5pm...you rebel, you.

2.  Do an unpleasant thing you could put off forever but finish in a minute.  Keyboard cleaning, yes!

3.  Close your eyes.  Relive your most magical kiss ever.

4.  Facebook-stalk the "unattainable" guys you had crushes on at 15.  Half are fat and balding, guaranteed.

5.  Make your next pedicure something funny, like OPI's Party in My Cabana Pink!!

6.  Smile.  Fake happiness always ends up feelling at least a little like the real thing.

7.  Try the tree pose.  Tough to worry aboaut anything but keeling over, right?

8.  Think back one more time to heroic Sully, landing that plane gently and flawlessly on the Hudson River.

9.  OVERTIP

10.  Resist:the $250 shoes, the third doughnut, picking the  (same old) fight.  Sometimes happiness is abaoaut what you don't do.

Worst Foods to Eat on a Date!!!

 

 

this is a funny and informative post from "foxy festivities"....

Worst Foods to Eat on a Date

Posted Tue, Jun 02, 2009, 3:46 pm PDT

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Dating is such a fickle affair. Early on, the most inconspicuous details can turn someone off just like that. If you find yourself wondering why you never heard back, one funny yet possible thought is -- maybe it was something you ate. So, don't make your next date a dine-n-dash by eating one of these...

• Spaghetti  Unless you're a dainty pro at wrapping those pasta strands around a fork (and so few truly are), don't order this enticing item. On a date you'll realize how much slurping actually goes on over a plate of spaghetti. If you're craving pasta, order a bite-size version like penne, rigatoni, or tortellini. So much easier to eat.
• Raw Onions  Their potent aroma permeates the room every time you exhale. Raw onions are in many salads (sometimes they're chopped up so fine you don't even notice them), and often they're an ingredient not even mentioned on the menu. Be wise and ask before ordering, otherwise your date may think twice about going in for that sweet smooch. 
• Steak Tartar  Watching someone eating raw meat can be a real gross-out. Just the sound of it makes some people feel a little queasy. Unless you're trying to get rid of someone, take a pass on this uncooked beef "delicacy."
• Chili  As we all know, beans can do a wicked number on your belly. Gurgling and gas anyone? Those are the last two things we'd want to experience on a date. And don't forget about the bold blend of garlic, onions, and peppery spices that most chilis serve up. Whew!
• Stinky Cheese  On the plate or on your breath, pungent fromages like Stilton, Taleggio, Roquefort, Camembert, and even Feta can be overpowering for the senses. Safer picks include Parmesan, Monterey Jack, or Havarti.
• Ribs  The unsightly "caveman" aura of dining on ribs coupled with the all-out mess factor are reasons enough to save this meal for later dates when you two have moved into the comfort zone.
• Truffles  At an average of $1000-$2000 per POUND, you better be dating royalty if you order these on a date. Same goes for that three-pound lobster tail or caviar. These delicacies are pricey. If you don't know your date well, anyone with an ounce of class should avoid ordering them. A safe way to test the waters is to ask your date if he or she would like to split one of these dishes.
• Tacos  Has anyone ever managed to eat a taco neatly? That is, without spilling half the contents onto your plate, dripping sauce down your cheek, and getting shreds of lettuce stuck in your teeth? If you're going Mexican, try a more manageable choice like a quesadilla or go with a fork-and-knife option such as  enchiladas.
• Spinach Salad  Salads seem like a safe date choice -- until you order one. Flimsy greens launch oily dressing on to your clothes. Big leaves can be hard to get in your mouth without leaving a trail of dressing on your cheek. And spinach salad is the worst of all. The gritty texture of the raw spinach leaf acts like an adhesive on your teeth. Unless you want to keep running to the bathroom to check that your smile is clean, avoid!
• Heavy Garlic  This one's obvious, but you don't always think about where it could be hiding on the menu. A lot of pasta sauces, like pesto, use tons of garlic. Many meat dishes, too. You don't want to blast your date with hard-core garlic-ridden dragon breath, so ask about heavy garlic content when you're ordering. As tasty as it is, garlic quickly becomes Eau de Garlic all over your body as it seeps into your breath and your entire body.