The Chit Chat Cafe

Gross!!!!!!!!

Hey....I would love to give a shout out to my readers "Down Under"......."Hey Mates"......so glad you are coming in to join in the silliness that is my blog.....feel free to comment on anything cool going on in your country that we can chit chat about....besides of course "Shrimp on the Barbie"....

Well, today I am going to talk about something disgusting........bad breath......how gross is it when you get into work in the morning and someone is talking to you with "stale breath"?   I actually think that is worse than garlic breath......

The question is....doesn't one realize when their breath can knock over an elephant?   Jeez.... I think some people do not brush their tongue when doing their routine in the morning.......

What causes some people to have yak breath?  Their diet?  Health concerns?  Poor hygiene?  eeewww.

I once had a customer at work....he was from another country.......did not speak a word of English, so he kept repeating his request for a product to me and his breath was so bad....I was actually getting nauseated...I was really going to throw up.

Should we tell people when their breath is less than minty fresh or should we hold our breath and take it?

Here are some famous people that look like they have some bad breath:

1.  Larry King  (sorry Lar, I love your show, but.........)

2.  Queen Elizabeth

3.  Prince Charles

4.  Whoopi Goldberg  (love her, but I am suspicious)

I would say  John McCain.......he is not offically on the list because he may be President and that would not be respectful.

Anybody out there have any opinions on this?

Yes, I am Out of it....

I consider myself a together, intelligent woman who keeps up on the latest trends and such.......HOWEVER...there are a few things in today's world that I just can't get into the swing of....

Starbucks......I have never been in a Starbucks......I don't drink coffee so I have no idea what a chi soy frappacino latte chocolate cappucino frothy skim thingy is.....everyone else seems to....I am clueless....

ATM machine.......have never used one.....I just got a debit card about 6 weeks ago.....as I mentioned in an earlier post...I was the bitch at the supermarket holding up the line becaue I had to write a check.......now when I need money....I write a check and go cash it....I get panicky when I think about going to the ATM machine.

Texting.....my kids can text with their eyes closed....me it takes 5 minutes to write one word.....at least now I know how to separate the words...in the early days...the poor recepients of my text messages were subjected to one very long word......caused many a headache.

TV's.......most people have 42 inch plasma TV's.......we have a 42 inch TV........but that is 42 inches deep.

MySpace..........yes, I am a grown woman and have a myspace......much to my kids never ending horror.....I use it for networking for my business........check it out it is cute  www.myspace.com/TheTrunkShowBoutique   When something has to be changed or added...the kids have to do it for me...I have no idea how to navigate it.

EZ Pass......if I would take 10 minutes to go online and fill out a form....I would save myself minutes and minutes every week waiting in line to pay tolls....

I may have some shortcomings with today's conveniences, but I sure now how to navigate around the shoe and cosmetic departments of fancy stores.   I guess we all have our good points.

Condescending Wisdom

Here I go again....found another interesting book with funny phrases....this time it is "Dr. Larry"  his book  "563 Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives"...Dr. Larry is an Internationally Renowned Psychotherapist....he writes books on "condescending wisdom"   I LOVE IT!!!   

Here is a sampling from his book "563 Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives:  (enjoy!)

1.  Be featured on America's Most Wanted

"I would not consider being featured on this particular show a personal victory, despite the accepted tenet that any publicity is good publicity"

2. Have your fifteen minutes of fame.

"Knowing it will not be at the Oscars but rather on your front lawn, where you are engaged in some sort of drunken domestic dispute".

3.  Join the Flying Wallendas.

"Even the Wallendas probably wish they had a different last name so they wouldn't have to fall hundreds of feet to their premature deaths."

4.  Dance the macarena

"You looked stupid doing the macarena when it was briefly popular, and you'll look exponentially stupider now."

5.  Limbo

"Doing the limbo should be allowed only in the Caribbean after consuming many drinks with paper umbrellas.  You deserve to slip a disk if limboing in any other circumstances."

6. Participate in a line dance

"There are few sights more depressing than a group of adults doing a  line dance.  Boot-scoot yourself in the butt if you suddenly find yourself part of one."

7.  Believe in fate

"Believing there is some sort of grand design or that things happen for a reason only reinforces the idea that you do not control your own destiny.  Walk in front of a bus and see what kismet has in store for you, fate boy."

8.  Ask a woman if she is pregnant.

"There is about a fifty-fifty chance that she is not pregnant at all but has simply discovered the miracle that is Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  Do not find out this information firsthand".

9. Refer to yourself by a single name

"Cher, Madonna, and Sting can get away with this because they have talent.  Unless you're going to call yourself "Goofy", you better use both your names".

10.  Send an annual letter to your friends and family

"No one cares that you and your family went to Six Flags in May or that Bobby scored a goal at soccer camp.  Just because you have to endure your mundane existence does not mean that the rest of us should".

11.  Confess

"Admitting guilt will only get you into more trouble than you are already in.  There are plenty of reasons to account for the presence of that naked person in your bed once you really stop to consider that total range of possible explanations".

12.  Incite a riot.

"Don't go stirring up trouble by turning a crowd of peaceful protestors into an angry mob.  Use your outstanding charisma for more personally rewarding purposes, like persuading old people to give you their live savings".

13. Respond to an ad for "models"

"This will not be your big break.  This will be your big opportunity to get naked before a complete stranger with a camera"

14.  Get addicted to a soap opera

"Soon you will be taping episodes of The Days of Our Lives and watching them at night.  Then your life will offically be over.

15.  Sleep with a hotel bedspread.

"If you knew what was still on it, you would never sleep with one or even stay in a hotel again".

and finally....if you read my previous posts....see...even a Doctor is in agreement with me....

16.  If you Drive a large pickup or sports utility vehicle.

"Apparently everyone but you knows this obviously means you have a tiny penis.  Get rid of that two ton phallic symbol if you're wondering why everyone is laughing and pointing at you."

Have a great Sunday!

Lisaxo

Romantic Movies

Fun stuff today....does anyone out there love romantic movies....like the best "make out' scenes....I am a romantic/kissy kissy movie junkie...can't get enough....here are some of my favorite scenes....

1.  THE NOTEBOOK....when it is raining...and Noah and Allie haven't seen each other in 7 years...and they have that great scene when they are soaking wet and they are all over each other and he carries her up the steps...

2.  TITANIC....of course the scene in the car..."Jack....take me to the stars"....

3.  DIRTY DANCING....When "Baby" and Johnnie Castle "dirty dance" in his room....oh shit....Patrick Swayze without a shirt.....

4.  THE HOLIDAY....Jude Law and Cameron Diaz....when he shows up at her door.....a total sexy stranger......shit.....those blue eyes on Jude Law....kill me now.

5.  MAID IN MANHATTEN.....Where Ralph Finnes grabs JLo at the fancy ball and kisses her passionately for the first time.

6.  SOMETHINGS GOT TO GIVE.....Where Jack Nicholson cuts the sweater off of Diane Keaton with a scissors....

7.  UNTIL SEPTEMBER....most of you probably never heard of this...was out in 1985....Karen Allen stars as an American tourist in Paris....meets a gorgeous very married Frenchman....and has a torrid affair....my favorite romantic movie EVER.....check it out on www.amazon.com ..the DVD is available and worth whatever price it is, in fact pay double, it is worth it....a freakin affair in Paris with a gorgeous blue eyed guy....the ultimate....  I want to stab myself 100 times everytime Xavier and Mo...have their first passionate kiss after days of tension.....that leads to a really  steamy sex scene.....

8.  This is not a movie...but did anyone see Grey's Anatomy Thursday night......that kiss between Christina and the new doc?????  Hot....I know everyone loves Mc Dreamy, as I do......but I find Alex to be the sexiest.....hands down.

I am really looking forward to Nights in Rodanthe.....I read the book twice and vacationed in Rodanthe this past August....I don't care that People Magazine gave it a bad review.

HAVE A GREAT SATURDAY!!!!!!!

Gays and Lesbians

Come on.....was anyone surprised that Clay Aiken came out of the closet?   Really, who cares?  It is sad that we make such a big deal about someone's sexual orientation.......if they are a decent human being, who gives a flying one who they are doing the horizontal Mambo with?

I strongly feel that Gays and Lesbians should have the same rights as everyone else....why not?  They should be able to get married, have children, get any job they are qualified for and join any group that they desire.

It is awful that a lot of people in this situation live their life not being able to be themselves for fear of discrimination.

We have a couple of gays in our extended family and they are treated with respect and love, as well as their partners.

I have a couple of gay man friends and guess what.....they are fun....you can talk fashion, entertaining, and all things glamorous to them......it is wonderful.

That all being said, you know me by now.....of course I have a couple of stories....

In Feb. 2007 my husband, the kids and I flew to the Koln/Bonn airport in Germany......well.......my husband found this great deal.....Continental Airlines was running a special to introduce their new service from Newark NJ to Koln/Bonn for 198.00 roundtrip (of course that didn't include tax, but still....a very cheap flight overseas)....while waiting at the gate to board the flight........we noticed a lot of same sex hand holding and cuddling....but thought nothing of it......(well, my middle son was eeeewwwwwwwwing but we told him to be quiet).....here.......I believe, other than the flight crew.....we were the only "straight" people on the flight.....unbeknownst to us......it was Carnivale in Koln and apparently Koln is a gay mecca.........that was OK, though....we stayed one night....lots of people walking around in costumes.....and the bakeries there were the best I have ever seen....the donuts....as big as my head were to DIE FOR......we then rented a car and drove to Brussels, Belgium......check out the hotel in Koln (Cologne)  Hotel Wassertrum.....way cool....

Another time my husband and I went out to dinner on a Saturday night to a place that my mom, my kids and myself had frequented for lunch called Judy's in Philly.......the food was so good, I wanted my husband to try it.....well........again, I had no idea, Judy's was a gay place....it wasn't obvious during the day........but my husband and I showed up on "date" night........interesting........men kissing in the corner...old sugar daddy types with young studs.....two big burly Marines holding hands and gazing lovlingly into each other's eyes...you get the picture.....my husband wouldn't let me leave him alone...not even to go to the ladies room.....it was funny.....

The only thing that makes me put on a "why" face is when ........on gay pride day.....there were about 6 guys all in a different shade of speedo, all oiled up and posing for pictures....I guess we all have a right to express ourselves.

Lipstick Jungle

Did anybody watch the season premiere last night??  I love love love that show already......

How about Nico getting that "injection"......for those of you that don't watch....one of the 3 major women characters (who is supposed to be in her 40's, I think),  is having an affair with a 25 year old super sexy guy............whom she broke up with......she was trying to get things hot again with her older husband so she heard about this injection that you get "down there" to increase sensation.......so she went and had it done......ouch......

As it turns out....her husband was cheating on her with a much younger woman who is pregnant by him!!!!.......he ends up dying.....before she confronts him........

Sound cool or what.......

Now, the question I pose to you all.......would you get an injection like that and what would you do if your husband got someone else pregnant...he is already dead, so you can't have the pleasure of killing him yourself!!!!!!!   I think on the preview for next week....the whore that is pregnant wants money from Nico...

Well, I really hate getting even a flu shot......so I am not thinking I am getting a shot in the cooch......as for the girl......I would not give her a cent........I would give her a boot right in the ass.......that sounds cold and heartless because she is knocked up, but to damn bad.

I really am blunt sometimes, aren't I????????

Oh and I just love Andrew McCarthy...remember him from Pretty in PInk, St. Elmo's Fire and Mannequin???  He is sexy as ever....

Lisa xo

One Month Today!

Today is my first month anniversary of this blog....I have been having a blast.....I want to send out some thanks to some wonderful ladies that have been very supportive of me in the past month......

Tiffanie    www.three-peas.com

Laura     www.whereisyourheart.typepad.com

Susan   www.sueskitchen.typepad.com

Bari J   www.barijonline   Of course she was the lady that did the adorable graphics on the site....stay tuned...more are coming....

Check out these ladies blogs...they are all very talented with their crafts....I am embarrassed.....all I am crafty at is telling my stupid stories....

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

Just remember, a fool and his money are always better than no date at all.    Allyson Jones

Women might be able to fake orgasm, but men can fake entire relationships.   Sharon Stone

The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.  Alexandra Penney

The heart outgrows old grief.  Ella Wheeler-Wilcox

Be Happy.  It is one way of being wise.  Colette

In general, my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.  Erma Bombeck

The process of trying on bathing suits is just nature's little way of keeping us humble.   Very humble.   Cheryl Hawkinson

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.  Linda Staten

Some days every woamn you meet has the hair you want.  Dee Ann Stewart

All we want is peace on earth....and really cute shoes.  Allyson Jones

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.  Fran Lebowitz

and finally....

I am in therapy now.  I used to be in denial.  Which is a lot cheaper.  Robin Greenspan

Have a great day!

Lisa xo

"Life Behind the Cosmetic Counter"

     In honor of the "Lipstick Jungle" premiere tonight........love the show....Andrew McCarthy and Robert Buckley......very sexy.....did anyone see the episode last season when Robert Buckley wrote his phone number down Nico's leg????  My girlfriends and I kid about that now....if we see a hot guy, we are like....."would you let him write his phone number on your leg".......I guess you had to see the episode....

One more TV thing.......Is anyone watching Dancing with The Stars......love it....the cast is terrific this time....everyone is so likeable.....hate to see any of them get voted out....Rocco DiSpirito is very sexy.....Cloris Lechman is hysterical......Brooke Burke is gorgeous....can you believe that she has had 4 kids??......Kim Kardasian sweet.......and Lance Bass.....adorable.  Anyway....

Lipstick is my favorite beauty essential...I couldn't live without it.....I must have 100 tubes........and guess what.......I use them all.....my lips are naturally full, so I feel that is the best feature on my face, so I lipstick it up every minute of every day.......I wear it to clean, I wear it to bed every night (I am not joking), I don't think my husband has ever seen me without it.....

I decide what color I am going to wear depending on my mood......am I in a natural mood?  Red mood?  Pink mood?  Coral mood?  Shiny?  Matte?  Glossy???

My favorites are Chanel.....but they are a little pricey....MAC is probably the one that I have to most of..... www.maccosmetics.com they are reasonable priced (around 15.00) and have about 200 colors to choose from....

I love lipstick so much that I worked behind the cosmetic counter at Macy's while in college and even after I graduated.....I sold Chanel and Elizabeth Arden brands.....

Did you ever wonder what life is like behind a cosmetic counter?  Well.......the perks are you do receive some free makeup...not a ton, but not bad....you get to go to jazzy training schools a couple of times a year.......pay wasn't bad.......

The downside.......pressure......tons of pressure to sell......you would get reprimanded at the end of the month if you didn't "make your goals".......and your fellow co workers could get very catty with sales since we were on commission.

You also encounter your share of nutty customers.....for example....some weird lady would come in once a week for 2 years straight......and buy 5 Fashion Fair Brown Sugar Lipsticks.......Fashion Fair shared a counter with me......first of all the lady was lily white and Fashion Fair is for women of color.........every darn week she would come in "I will have 5 Brown Sugar Lipsticks"......and the man/woman working behind the counter with me would help her....what I mean by man/woman.....we called her Mr. Wanda.....very sweet human being........but it was a man dressed lke a woman......she would wear dresses and admitted she strapped her privates to her leg so no one would see she was a guy.....ANYWAY....back to the lady with the lipsticks.....we always wondered.......what could she possibly do with all of those "Brown Sugar" lipsticks..

1.  Did she eat them?

2.  Write on the walls with them?

3.  Do something kinky with them??   

Who the hell knows....

Then I had this one lady that would come in more frequently than I enjoyed......she looked like Audrey Hepburn......well dressed in a Chanel suit......pill box hat......gloves....very elegant and sophisticated.....one problem.........she had "tourettes syndrome"....she would walk gracefully up to the counter then start screaming........the first time I encountered her......she screamed at me "You Roman Pig".....she scared the crap out of me...I had no idea what the hell was wrong.......

The next time she came in.......she walked up to my counter (why she picked me out of an entire department was just my luck)........she did a pirouette and sang "One, two, three look at me"......and pranced away..............(see what my life is like?  then you wonder why I need to express myself in a blog)

Another time I was in a crowded elevator with her....I knew she was nuts, but the other 10 occupants didn't.....it was an express elevator to the 9th floor with no stops.......she was screaming at the top of her lungs......."you M-f-ing c*ck sucking pig c*nt.......it was very stressful....

I swear to you all........I do NOT make this stuff up.

Have a great day!

Lisa xo

"Catty Women"

Yes, we all know at least one......the "Catty Bitch"......my question is Why?  Really?  Why do some women feel the need to back stab and be envious of other girls?  I do not get it....

We women should have some kind of unspoken loyalty to each other....and a lot do.....but you ALWAYS find at least one trouble maker in the bunch...being it at work....a women's organization...a club....anywhere.......there is always at least one...yep always one.....ready to sharpen the knife, flick out the claws and prey on some unsuspecting victim....

We have one.....in my region at work........we have a trouble making, backstabbing, nice to your face, annoying bitch.......who, if I could and wasn't assured a trip to the "pokey".......I would pummel her right in the face......she has tried to throw me "under the bus".....but to know avail...she tried to make herself look better by putting me down...but you know what...it back fired on her, because the "big bosses" have her number........she goes over our bosses head for mundane things...to try and let it seem like our boss isn't doing her job.....just last week......she got involved in another girls business at work, that had nothing to do with her...she tried to be a tattle tale.....and guess what.......she is skating on thin ice with the big bosses....

I don't get it...why do some women feel the need to be like this?  It must make them feel powerful?  What is missing in their lives that they have to undermind other women??  It makes no sense to me....

I don't care what business you are in.....doctor, lawyer, McDonald's cashier...a stay at home mom.......secretary...ANYWHERE......you find these toxic human beings.   My retired mother has come across them even in her 70's.......I won't mention where because the woman may read this and I don't want my mom to feel uncomfortable....but it starts early......when my daughter was in 2nd grade......her teacher told me she has never seen such a group of mean girls....

When my daughter now in 7th grade came home crying that the her "best friends" from yesterday, now hate her...I said "sweetheart, you need to get used to it and deal with it, because it is going to happen your entire life"........depressing but, oh so true.

I was recently back stabbed by a fellow orchestra (my son Adam is a Violist) mom....who was so jealous of mine and Marie's business..   www.thetrunkshowboutique.org  ..she complained and whined how she didn't feel it was right to set up our "trunk show" at a concert for a fundraising effort for the orchestra...(the conductor and President had suggested we do that fundraiser) but that ugly, frigid Plain Jane carried on so much, that it wasn't worth it......but now they are doing Avon, and that sort of thing for fundraisers......see......there is always one jerky troublemaker....stupid, miserable creep.

I would love to hear any of your stories....you can email me or comment.....

These miserable people are probably just that....miserable...Les Miz...sour pusses that have unhappy lives that they have to try to make everyone else unhappy.  I just wish there was a way to make them go away......CREEPS.   I do believe........that what comes around...goes around......so I take some solace in that.

Lisa xo

Mistresses.....A Good Thing????????????????????

I had "Writer's Block" yesterday, but I am raring to go today.......

Check out this site........  http://www.walletpop.com/blog/2008/09/19/the-high-end-girlfriend-index-a-new-economic-indicator/?icid=200100397x1210204854x1200596223   this person feels Mistresses are "good for the economy".......makes sense......however, I will choke my husband if he feels the need to "help the economy"......

Also......Secret deodorant is running a contest....you can win diamonds.....  check it out....   www.secret.com

A little follow up to my post of a couple of weeks ago.....my hair salon "Giovanni and Pileggi" which is owned by the sexy Martino Cartier...was featured on "Tabitha's Salon Takeover"  on Bravo TV about 3 weeks ago......anyway.......I went to the salon for the first time since all of this happened over the weekend....and it looks gorgeous....they did a great job!

Now.......is anybody watching Dancing with the Stars...or am I the only jackass....I love it......I really like the people this time...I didn't think I was going to......loved  Lance Bass.....Kim Kardasian.....Cody.....Warren Sapp.......Brooke Burke......Cloris Lechman was a scream.......Rocco DiSpirito........

I was so excited it was coming on....I made my daughter turn off Hanna Montana 5 minutes early so I could make sure the TV was working on ABC.......can never be to sure, when you are looking forward to something......

I know....I am pathetic.

Lisa xo