The Chit Chat Cafe

The Parade of Champions!!

Well, Philadelphia gave our World Series Champions "The Philadelphia Phillies" the parade of a lifetime today..........it has been a long time coming.....the weather was perfect 65 and sunny......everyone was smiling and high fiving each other..........it was a sense of community that you do not see everyday.....they are estimating that over 2 million fans attended the parade.  Check out this blog

http://www.phillychitchat.com/    this gentleman is a professional photographer and captures the event with clarity and beauty....take a look...it is worth your time.

This was an event that only comes along once in a blue moon!!

Lisa xo

Help Me God.........

Ok, this is a little update from my second post to this blog dated 8/27/08  titled "confessions".....

I hope one of my 'sins' doesn't come back to haunt me............

To give a little short recap.........went on a college tour with my son in the 100 degree heat.......toured the historic church at the college.........when the group went outside back into the heat........I snuck and stayed behind..........when no one was in sight........I dipped my entire hand into the "holy water" and gave myself a sponge bath.............. I was hot and sweaty, what can I say.......we went back to the college 2 weeks ago and I took a picture with the camera on my phone of my personal sponge bath station.............I know, I am going right to hell.........ANYWAY...........

My son just yesterday sent out his early admission application to this school.........I AM PRAYING THEY DIDN'T HAVE A SECURITY CAMERA IN THE SANCTUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My poor son won't get into his first choice of University because his mom is a retard, albeit a fresh as a daisy retard.

If he gets in.........I will reveal the school!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa xo

THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH PHILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    "At Last, Phillies Win World SeriesBy BEN WALKER, AP posted: 3 HOURS 23 MINUTES AGOcomments: 480PrintShareText SizeAAAPHILADELPHIA (Oct. 29) - Save the jokes, the taunts and all those insults about the losingest team in sports. The Philadelphia Phillies just won themselves a World Series. If that sounds strange, it was strange. Nearly 50 hours after Game 5 started but was stopped by rain, Brad Lidge and the Phillies finished off the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 in a three-inning sprint Wednesday night. "It was a crazy way to win it with a suspended game, but we did and it's over," 45-year-old Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer said. "It has been a long wait, but it's worth it." Left in limbo by a two-day storm, the Phillies seesawed to their first championship since 1980. Pedro Feliz singled home the go-ahead run in the seventh and Lidge closed out his perfect season to deliver the title Philly craved for so long. "

YES!!!  Our hometown team are WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!  It was sooooo exciting......after the win...there were tens of thousands of fans screaming in the streets, cheering, hoking horns....fireworks...........it just made you smile!!!!

They are saying the fans were pretty well behaved...there were a few turned over cars, a couple of fires and broken windows, but all in all everyone is just high fiving each other and smiling!!!

Big parade tomorrow!!!!  Everyone around here is just soooooooooo happy!!  We have not had a championship in 25 years!!!

Sorry to bore all of you folks from around this country and my readers from Australia, India, Japan, France, Canada, Italy, Brazil all all over........BUT THIS IS AN EXTREMELY BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

An After Note:  I wrote this blog before a gentleman named Hugh who was in the crowd emailed me to tell me THE REAL STORY.....check out his blog for fabulous photos and real life stories of last night's hoopla in the streets of The City of Brotherly Love.   http://www.phillychitchat.com/

More Condescending Wisdom

I wrote a post on this about a month ago and had a good response, so here is more from the book 563 Stupid Things People Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Larry.........ENJOY!!

Pose Nude for your boyfriend.....those pictures will be flying through cyberspace at warp speed the day after you break up.  Also refuse his suggestion to videotape yourselves having sex or else have fun visiting your own personal website called www.fillin yournameherehavingsex.com

Admit you were in jail.......Don't jeopardize your future for mistakes made in your past.  Present that missing year on your resume as a "Criminal Justice System Fellowship".

Bullshit Bullshitters.........Lying to better liars can only get you into more trouble.

Burn Bridges........The person you least expected to ever see again after calling him a single-cell organism will be the very same person who will be interviewing you three years later for a job you really want and need.

Go on a blind date with anyone described as "cute"......."Cute" is a euphemism for coyote ugly, as if you didn't know that already.

Go on a blind date with anyone described as having a "great personality".....""Great Personality" is code for "shops at House of Large Sizes".

Go on a blind date with anyone with a "cute personality"......Run for the hills!!

Drink light beer.......Drinking light beer is like kissing your aunt.

Keep old cars in your yard......This is cultural shorthand for "white trash".  Keeping old appliances in your yard, on the other hand, means "relatives of white trash".

Follow trends........There is nothing sadder than someone who believes doing whatever is temporarily popular will make him temporarily popular.

Wearing a fanny pack.....Wearing a fanny pack within the United States is cultural code for "can't pack personal belongings into pants because of the big fanny."  Wearing a fanny pack abroad is why everyone who lives outside the United States hates us.

Visit a psychic...........they have as much extrasensory perception as a potato.  Buy a Magic 8-Ball and save twenty bucks.

Join a cult..........Do I really need to articulate the issues associated with joining an organization led by a charismatic figure believing a spaceship will soon whisk you all off to paradise?

See the Virgin Mary.......The Virgin Mary has better things to do than make herself seen by you, especially in the form of a burrito.

Do a threesome..........A common fantasy but one you will regret when your partner ends up enjoying sex much more with the third party than he or she ever did with you.

Download Porn...each time you log onto a pornographic web site you are announcing to the world that you seek vicarious sex because you can't get laid.  You will also soon be receiving sex toys in the mail that are free for thirty days.

Get Drunk at your office party.....I think you will regret photocopying your butt and faxing the lovely image to the entire sales force.

Swap Partners....This always seems like it will be a lot of fun but has in fact led to disaster every time it has occurred in history.  Dance with the one who brung ya.

A Pet Peeve

Do you want to know something that irritates me??    Something that makes me so mad......

I can't stand when friends/family send me emails and jokes about their views on politics and issues such as Gay Marriage, Abortion and that sort of thing....

I find it so incredibly irritating that people try to impose their beliefs and ideas on others, notably me at the moment....

I don't care who you are voting for.....both candidates have their good and bad points.....my husband is voting one way....I am voting the other way......we are all entitled to our opinions, just kept your jokes and speeches to yourself, because it aggravates me.....  If we are in person and having a lively debate, that is fine, but don't force your views on me via the Internet.

I get emails about Obama.....I get emails about John McCain.....Sarah Palin.....GO KNOCK YOURSELF OUT...GO VOTE FOR WHO YOU WANT....WHO CARES??? 

I also can't stand when people bring up abortion......I AM PRO CHOICE.....GET OVER IT.   I don't care if you think it is a "sin".......I personally would not get one, but if someone has the unfortunate luck of having to make that choice......THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.  Ditto with stem cell research.....I am for it......

I also get crazy when people oppose Gay rights and marriage.....they are human beings...they should be able to do whatever they want as long as they aren't hurting anyone.  THEY SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO MARRY, and have a big wedding at the Four Seasons.....they should be able to adopt...isn't it better to have parents of the same sex that treat their children wonderfully.... than heterosexuals that are white trash and abuse their offspring?......By seeing gays treated with respect ....it  will cause no harm to our youth.......you are born gay......no one can make you gay by seeing a same sex couple holding hands...........It is part of life......kids need to see the real world.  It won't make them anything other than well rounded, aware adults. 

So, please, my dear friends and family......KEEP YOUR CONTROVERSIAL JOKES AND EMAILS TO YOURSELF!!!!

Words from a Flight Attendant!!!

A flight attendant sounds off about "rude" passengers

Posted by: Sean O'Neill, Thursday, Oct 23, 2008, 5:56 PM

Many—if not most—of the insights on this blog come from its readers, who post terrific comments. For example, see our readers' tips on "Cheap tips for traveling now" and "How to brew better hotel coffee in your hotel room."

I'd like to give a special shout out to Toni Vitanza, a flight attendant in Texas with more than 10 years for a major airline, as well as a wife, mom, teacher, and former reporter.

For years, Toni has had to put up with some outrageous behavior from passengers. Here's a re-print of a comment she posted a while ago on a blog elsewhere that may be of interest to you, too.

(The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Budget Travel. Feel feel to share your own responses by posting a comment of your own.) Toni's (excerpted) opinions start here:

How do flight attendants do it? That was the question posed by a passenger participant in USAToday's forum on the Today In The Skies page. Well, I saw the question seconds after it was posted and I HAD to answer. Things that drive me bonkers:

1. Woman walking dirty, yappy little dog in airport—and the dog was wearing a diaper. No carrier in sight. Must be for her "emotional support." Another dog set on tray, allowed to roam cabin despite repeated entreaties to put it in the carrier. Nearly ran over dog with bev cart. Have hardly had a pet carrier on board that is not opened and doesn't become trouble. Pet owners REFUSE to obey the rules, meanwhile telling me how well-trained their "baby" is. Want to compare their pet to human babies.

2. A 400-pound (no kidding) woman who paraded through the plane loudly proclaiming to everyone aboard the 757: "I dint buy no TWO seats!" Person of similar size prevents lav use or bev service because NOTHING can fit down aisle around him. NOTHING. Endangers everyone in potential evac. Similar size man wants exit row seat, where he will completely block evac. I say no. They get mad.

3. Graffiti. Carved. Into a tray table. In first class.

4. A woman sitting next to me (when I was traveling myself, out of uniform, in coach) who was smacking her gum so loudly I could hear it through my IPod earbuds, with music ON, for a 4-hour flight. And this from a woman who has suffered real hearing loss working around jet engines!

…

7. Passengers in first, business, and coach bulkhead seats—often nicely dressed and otherwise well-behaved—who put their feet on the bulkhead. I have actually had a pilot come on my plane, see pax [passengers] doing this and chewed them out for it. (Turned out the plane had just come from a deep-cleaning, and he'd had his fill with passenger behavior in general.) I've had pax tell me this is WHY they want the bulkhead. Would I put my feet on the walls in your office? I've had pax pull down my jumpseat and use it as a footstool. I've also had a pax with his feet on the bulkhead smash his own nose with his own knee during an aborted take-off. Next flight cancelled due to blood contamination all over seats. Man with bloody nose gets mad.

…

10. Body parts exposed that I don't want to see, even on ATTRACTIVE people. Body hair exposed. Tank tops, flip-flops, "doo-rags," biker bandanas, basketball uniforms. (I've seen all this on an international flight to Europe.) If they don't wear clothes, WHAT'S IN ALL THOSE CARRYONS?

14. Used diapers stuffed in seatback pocket. Baby changed on seat or on tray. Diaper handed to flight attendant pushing cart. She doesn't take it. Mom gets mad.

15. Pax [Passengers] taking pet out of carrier, encouraging it to pee and poop on the floor of the plane. Arguing with flight attendant about why they can't do this, or why they can't sit in exit or bulkhead w pet carrier. Also arguing about why they can't take it out of carrier. Taking it out anyway. Dog gets diarrhea and airsickness. Pax wants me to clean up. Same pax wonder why plane is delayed or canceled due to tick infestation or need for cleaning. Demand compensation. Wonder why they have to pay an extra fee extra for a pet. Get outraged. Equates dog to human babies.

16. Pax puts (oversized) bag into first bin in first class, then proceeds to his seat on last row. Never mind the fairness/etiquette issue…this is a security issue. Gets mad when it's returned to him. Gets madder when it's too close to departure time to go find him and bag has to sent to cargo.

17. Pax show up late to the gate, realize their seats are or were about to be given away, yell at the agent that they were held up in security. Do this with a steaming-hot, smelly bag of McDonald's in their hand. Accused the airline of lying to them. Get irate.

…

23. Seen on every single plane I'm on: Pax put bag(s) under the seat in front of them, just as instructed, then wrap strap around their feet. Just about the craziest/goofiest/stupidest/most dangerous thing I see people routinely do on a plane. Not between me and the aisle or the door, you don't! I've seen moms do this to the kids, as if the kids are the anchor for the bags. I've seen one mom braid the strap of her purse in an intricate knot around the seatbelt of her mentally retarded adult son. It took her five full minutes to undo it when I told her she couldn't do that. She argued with me the whole time. In an evac, he and his mom would have been toast. Saying this in the nicest, least alarming way possible made her mad. "We're not planning an emergency, are we?" Well, in fact, we are. By the time it was undone, my point was made.

…and the list goes on…

Tea, anyone?

 

  Once upon a time, I had a tea catering business........yes from 1993 until 2004.....I catered English Tea Parties in clients homes.....my company was called The Victorian Rose, Inc..  My sister Lynne and I owned the biz and had a wonderful time putting on showers, special birthdays, weddings and elegant events.  We would make all of the food from scratch....we would also bring all of the accoutrements for the perfect tea party.......bone china cups.... ....china and silver tea service fresh flowers,   all of the fancy serving pieces  crisp white linens and everything for the perfect tea party. 

At our hay day we were catering about 10 parties a month which is a lot considering it takes a week to get everything together.....it was exhausting work, but it was a real high when the party was over and the hostess was giddy with excitement from a job well done.   We closed down the business because we got bored....it was all time consuming and got old after 12 years.....we still do the occasional party for former clients that call on us.......I also gave lectures to women's groups on the history of tea.  We were very fortunate....we had several articles written about us in the local newspapers......we even had a write up in "First for Women" magazine.....which is a national publication........and we had a segment on a home show that used to be on the Discovery Channel....I was interviewed by former Miss America, Susan Powell.......we showed how to give a "proper tea"......

Unfortunately, this was all before digital cameras, so I don't have any of our actual parties on the web......

Tea is a wonderful way to entertain....it is even good if you are having men as guests....it is perfect for showers, ladies luncheons, special birthday's, small weddings, children's teas (this was a huge part of our business), and business meetings.  We actually did a tea at a monthly manager's meeting at a car dealership.....so cute...all of the men drinking out of dainty bone china cups.

Tea is a marvelous time to pull out all of the fancy and good china that sits in the china closet and never has a chance to make an appearance.    Nothing like having beautiful food on beautiful china, freshly polished silver, starched, crisp linens and fresh flowers......if you even think of using mugs, paper napkins, tupperware or chunky china.......I am thinking tea time is not your thing.

The food for tea is actually quite filling and satisfying....tea sandwiches small cakes, pastries or cookies and of course scones..........if you are having men...you can also add some "savories" (similar to appetizers)........there are countless tea books out there for you to look through to get ideas.

So the next time you want to entertain and need to do something different and exciting...why not choose a Proper English Tea???

Spanx Me!!!!!!!!

OK OK OK........I confess.........I wear Spanx..... ...........I know...I know....but hey...even stars wear them.......SKINNY STARS.............. 

How did we get to this point???  You just can't wear anything clingy without this wonderfully embarrassing under garment......it smooths, shapes........holds "everything" in.........before the turn of the century it was called a "girdle".......God Forbid........as with everything else in my life though I have had my share of "Spanx" issues.....

Like the time I wore 2 pairs of Spanx to a wedding.........they were holding me in so tightly that I think it stopped the circulation in my head.....I actually got a really bad throbbing headache and got scared.........so I went to the bathroom......took them off.....and had to give them to my husband to put in his pocket because the damn thing would not fit into my evening bag......could my husband just indiscreetly put it in his pocket?  No..........my loving husband takes my Spanx...goes out on the dance floor and swings it over his head like a lariate.   I just love him.  If that wasn't bad enough............he gets my sister...they each take a leg of my "under garment" and stretch it out and were stretching it out like a limbo stick and were asking people if they wanted to do the limbo. ...Ok, welcome to my life.

Did you ever notice that all of the fat gets pushed up when you put on these humiliating contraptions?  I actually do have a small waist and all of my hip "stuff" gets moved up to my waist!!! Even though my husband is aware of my horrifying slimming devices.....he will NEVER EVER see me in one......I won't let him in the room when I am dressing and after an affair where I dared to wear one.....after he lets me in the car and is walking around to his side....I quickly take it off and hide it!!!!!!

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARES!!!!!!! 

Walmart vs. Target

Let me start off by saying....I do have family members and friends that frequent Walmart........so they will probably get annoyed with me for this post.  Too bad because I speak the truth.

I hate Walmart........it is the white trash haven of the world.....not only are they building one every 2 miles around here..........they try to make it seem like they are doing good by keep prices low when they are actually putting a lot of small businesses right out of business.....  Really........is it necessary to have so many?  They are ugly, depressing buildings that are taking away what little precious open  land we left............and now they are building those "super stores"  .........help us all God...........the inside of these store is so unappealing to shop....I don't care how low the prices are..............mega flourescent lighting.....ugly merchandise........and the last time I went to one.......I don't think a full set of teeth was in the mouth of all of the people combined that were standing in front of me at the check out counter........I have never sen so many toothless, grossly overweight, wife beater wearing, greasy hair, overly tattooed excuses for human beings as I did on my last outing to Walmart......I especially love all of the losers that start lining up outside of Walmart at 2am Black Friday morning to get their "deals"........and push and shove each other when the doors open.........watching that fiasco on the news while eating leftover turkey is always a lovely way to start the holiday season.

Now Target on the other hand is fab....love it......great merchandise.....cute, unique.........totally wonderful..........the store is clean........everything is merchandised beautifully.......great clothes and shoes if you are indeed on a budget or even if you aren't......adorable house wares.......bedding.....pet things..... everything you need is here in a pleasant, well lighted,  and enjoyable shopping experience....The most important thing is you see normal people shopping in Target........you don't feel like you take your life into your hands while browsing the aisles....

Target's prices aren't that much higher than Walmart, if at all.......however..........I would pay double, recession or not......just to not have to go to Walmart.

Things that Annoy me!!

*Double Dippers........digusting.....

*Men who name their cars and private parts.......idiots.......

*Drivers who tailgate or drive to slow in the passing lane........

*People who can only have one sided conversations

*Jack asses that take up 2 parking spaces

* "know it alls"

*People who can't wait to file a lawsuit...........to get rich quick........

*When you walk into a public restroom and someone didn't flush the poop in the toilet....

*Men who have creases in their jeans or wear "wife beaters" in lieu of a shirt

*Boring people........you know...talking to them is like watching paint dry......and they never shut up!!

*People that ask for advice and do what they want anyway.....a couple of my friends out there know who I am talking about!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes.........it is very annoying!!!

*When you get a shopping cart and one of the wheels is broke......this happens to me about 75% of the time!!!

*Ignorant People with a sense of entitlement

*People who always try to "one up" you

*When the mall parking lot is super crowded and there are not any spaces and the people leaving...linger in their cars.......

*When you can't tell if someone is a man or a woman.......(I will have a good post on this one!)

*People who pull out a calculator in a restaurant to figure out the tip........

*People who ride their bikes in the street when there is a side walk available.....don't you just feel like ramming into them?

*Someone standing over my shoulder reading while I am on the computer........this is probably in my top 5 annoyances.

*Dirty dishes in the sink

*People who start an explanation with "again"......makes you want to punch them in the face.

*Dining out with a picky eater that has to change everything around on the menu......JUST ORDER DAMN IT!

*Conspiracy theories (i.e.........Princess Diana was murdered?  No A-holes....her driver was drunk!)

*Celebrities claiming to be envioronmentalists.

*People who sit next to you on public transportation, when there are plenty of empty seats around.

*When couples sit on the same side of the booth when no one is on the other side......romantic?  No....you look silly......sit across from each other...hold hands and play footsie under the table....much better.

*people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom......enough said.

*People who take forever to order food when I am standing behind them......again...feel like pushing them out of the way...

*Jack Butts that don't use turn signals.

*Jack Butts that don't thank you when you let them into traffic....

*Getting fruit in your Halloween bag!!!!

*People that see a restaurant is super crowded, but have no qualms about lingering at their table after they paid their check.

*People who talk loud on their cell phones......we really don't care about y our conversation....

*People that talk in the movies.......

*Celebrities that endorse candidates.....this urks  me to no end!  Who gives a crap?.........

*Obnoxious people that are rude to waiters/waitresses........treating them like their personal valets....

^Men who drive huge Hummers or Trucks.......you just know that have that "small penis" syndrome.

*When you are on hold forever and the person that finally picks up hardly speaks English and they sound like they have a mouth full of marbles.

*People that are always getting "offended"........get a sense of humor......always having to be politically correct is a drag and extemely annoying!!!!

*Always having to hear about Brangelina..........WHO CARES????????????????????????????????